Losing More Sound.....

👂Update!👂


 Hello all! 

Thank you so much to all of you that have reached out or shared this blog. Again, my sincere hope is to connect and reach any one that may be going through any of the topics that I discuss. 

About 2 weeks ago I had my annual hearing test. This is my 7th year for my hearing test and this year marked my most significant decline yet. After meeting with the ENT and Audiologist I am being referred for hearing aid trial and a Ponto bone anchored hearing system trial. After that appointment I will be meeting with a new specialist in my ENT's office. My ENT is speculating that my decline is due to many ear infections as a child. I also found out that my T-tubes that were put in last year (hoping to last 2 years) are out after only 10 months. I have had pain and pressure again due to my Eustachian tube disorder. There may be more sets of tubes in my future, but we will see after I go see the specialist and possible future testing. For the past 7 years they have been speculating a diagnosis of Otosclerosis (the bones in the ear become knit together) so I will be assertive with this specialist for further testing and exploration. 

 Link for any interest in the disorder:
https://www.american-hearing.org/disorders/otosclerosis/

I will tell you that after my discussion with both the ENT and audiologist, I am feeling very sad. If you have followed this blog in the past, you may recall that I am a Music Therapist. Finding out that my hearing continues to decline is pretty devastating. My job, my being, my core is anchored around sound. I have spent my entire life expressing myself through sound. Will I wake up one day and be deaf? Where will the sound go? How do I continue to keep a sense of self as I lose the major connection to myself?

My ENT and audiologist were both surprised that I wasn't more aware of the decline. In my response, all I know is the body that I live in. I adapt and live every day as it is. I can't remember what it is like to hear the way I did 7 years ago. I was told at this point that my right ear is doing most of the hearing (at an impaired state) for both ears and that my brain is going through a lot during the day trying to process from one ear (especially during music therapy sessions!). I have noticed since the tubes have come out that I am back to asking to my family, friends and clients, "Can you please speak up, I can't hear." 

 This part of the disorder has been interesting in my music therapy work. I am disclosing information on my hearing when necessary(asking clients to speak up and stating the reason I can not hear them) in the sessions and am finding that the clients are responding in a positive way. In this way, I am real, I am authentic, I am human and my clients are connecting to that.

My appointment with the specialist is coming up in a few weeks and I have several questions. I have done research regarding the possible bone anchored hearing devices and just some of my diagnosis in general. Having the bone anchored hearing device would mean having a screw put in my bone in the back of my head, letting that fuse with my skull for 3 months and then attaching the hearing device. Basically it re-routes the hearing from the middle ear to using vibrations in the bone to hear. I have tons of questions of why we are trying to bypass that middle ear and about possible testing to give a definitive answer to what is causing the issues.

Going Forward....

After talking to a few friends and music therapists, I am hoping to start the possible process of a Round Table Discussion for the MAR-AMTA Regional conference and may look into creating a survey to reach out to other music therapists that have hearing impairments and or other types of impairments. I am at the very beginning stage of my thoughts on this but am excited to connect with others and see where this goes. I am feeling fortunate that I am now getting help and sincerely look forward to the possibility of hearing in a different way than I do now. 

Any music therapists that would like to connect with me regarding your own experience practicing music therapy with an impairment please email me at:

LosingSound@gmail.com


With Hope.....

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